Looking back over my posts from 2017 I see I've been fairly quiet compared to 2016. During the first few months of last year I came to a realisation and acceptance about something I'd been trying really hard at, something I'd put so much of my energy into it made me ill at times. I could do nothing more for this situation and maybe it was time to let go.
The rest of the year continued in this vein of seeing things for what they are and not how I'd like them to be. I did less weaving, much less designing and pretty much no marketing or selling. I even took less walks with my camera. As much as I love my day job, that also took a turn in one big way I wish it hadn't, plus doing more and more desk work hasn't helped.
These few events combined with another connection made with the mainland (as in Scotland) caused me to write my October post (The Incidental Stuckness of Being an Islander). I've done a lot of pretending over the years, trying to fit what I thought others expected of me, which I got over when it suddenly hit me in my early 30's that it was all actually up to me, I'd been getting in my own way by using other people's opinions as excuses - I've felt that creeping in again a bit lately. I found it interesting when I'd asked for thoughts on that 'Stuckness' post that quite a few people took it that I was trying to run away from something I hadn't already considered and faced, reading it back though maybe that's how it sounded. I talked with a friend about it later and asked, if someone he knew decided to move from, for example, Newcastle to London, would that seem such a big deal? To which he replied, no. The distance is at least the same as moving from Shetland to the mainland. But it seems because I'd be crossing an ocean it would somehow be so much more dramatic, or because moving from an 'idyllic' island setting is the opposite of most peoples dreams.
So, I'll be away for a month. It's not running away, or avoiding, or distracting, I know myself now enough to be certain of that. It's exactly the opposite. There are times, when you truly listen to your instinct, that you know it's time for something to shift, even when you can't see what the outcome might be, actually, especially when you can't see what the outcome might be.
I'll be based in Newburgh, Fife (thanks Wasps Studios) for the whole of February working on textile stuff, writing, photography and immersing myself in a different environment - rivers, trees and mountains (well maybe not mountains in Fife! but I'll have my car to explore further).